Miakyatto's Adventures in South Park
by xXMiakyattoXx
Summary: Miakyatto((Or MiirKat, if you like English)) had a pretty normal life before this. Mom in and out of prison, Aunt spending all the money at casinos, and wasting her time on the internet, rarely ever going outside. Then it all changed. Now stuck in the hick town of South Park for god knows how long, how will she fare with dealing with monsters, aliens, and the people themselves...?
1. Game, START

**Hello~ I am MiirKat! Now, if you cared enough to go through my profiles and stories and stuff, you'd know that all I ever really type up are Hetalia stories.**

**I highly doubt you know what that is.**

**But not the point! Today, for my beloved South Park lovers, I am creating a South Park story.**

**Using a cliché from LOTS of fanfics.**

**TOTALLY original Miir.**

**Not the point. This cliché is the idea of being dropped into the middle of a game/show/anime/book series, and having to live alongside the characters from said series. Today will be a day of self-insertion. And in case any of you crazy SP fans out there want to…I WILL be taking insert requests, where you can ask for an OC or yourself to be included. I WILL ACCEPT REQUESTS IN THE FORM OF REVIEW ****AND**** PM.**

**DISCLAIMER: No. No I don't own South Park. If I did, It would somehow be much more crazy.**

**WARNING: This chapter is EXTREMELY long, for descriptions are a bitch. Also, plot development is hard when you're just winging it while you write. If you try to read this when you're in a hurry, you'll end up failing hardcore. **

**Stopping with the long ass intro, let us begin with the story!**

* * *

'_Ow, my head…wait…where the hell am I?_'

I opened my eyes, and found myself staring at the blue sky. '_I…I don't remember going outside…I haven't been outside all week…_' I looked around, sitting up from the cold…snow? Strange…It doesn't usually snow in the valley…Hell, it NEVER snows in the valley!

I brushed some snow off myself, and looked more carefully at my surroundings. All I could see behind me was forest and snow, and in front of me…I appeared to be on a cliff of sorts. What I could see from my point on the cliff was a few trees and even MORE snow beyond whatever was hidden from view by the edge of this ledge thing.

I crawled over to the edge of the ridge, and peered down.

In the shadow of the cliff(or possibly mountain), there was a small town. Not much there, I though I could see a school, a few larger shops here and there, and many a houses. I also noticed the large white building, and I assumed it was the main Governmental building.

As I sat back on the ridge, something shifted in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I found it was a note, from, I'm guessing, the jackass who threw me out here. Unfolding the paper, I scanned over the note.

_**Dear little "MiaKyatto",**_

_**I do hope you are enjoying your**_

_**Time here. It cost me a lot to get**_

_**You there, dear. Now, you have **_

_**A house in that world, #389. It's**_

_**A very nice house, if I do say so**_

_**Myself. You have lots of safes **_

_**There full of LOTS of money. But**_

_**Don't go flaunting it, dear. I do**_

_**Recommend you live like you **_

_**Did before coming to this town.**_

_**I have already had everything **_

_**Arranged for your things to be**_

_**Moved to your new house. There**_

_**Are also new things, much nicer **_

_**Things. After the things you've **_

_**Been through, at least LIVE like **_

_**A rich person. Don't go blowing **_

_**Through your money like a norm,**_

_**Though, deary! Use it wisely. Use**_

_**Your wonderful intellect!**_

_**Signing Off,**_

_**Your Savior**_

"…I don't know how the HELL this person knows me, but…hey, at least they're nice. Now all I need to know is where I am." Peeking back over the ledge, I stared at the sign at-what I guessed-was the front of the town, trying to read the writing on it.

"Fuuuuck…" I squinted, and crept closer to the tip of the cliff. I could almost make out the end of the words… "Th…Rk…ugh, dammit…" I shoved the note pack into my pocket so as to have more balance on my hands, and leaned just a tad bit further over. "…uth…ark…um…something Park?"

And as I stretched that one inch farther, the ground/snow beneath me collapsed, and I tumbled down the mountainside.

"AAAAH!" Screaming at the top of my lungs, I continued to roll, occasionally slamming into a stray branch. Nearing the bottom, a larger block of wood slammed into my gut, and almost ripping my shirt as I slid over it. "ACK…d-damn…pain…AH!"

I had reached the bottom of my tumbling journey, and my back slammed into a tree. "J-Jesus…anything else you wanna throw at me, world?"

A clump of snow fell on my face. Wiping it off, I sighed. "Never thought you'd respond. That's nice…" Shaking my head to get any excess snow out of my hair, I stood up. Rubbing my head(hurt like a bitch…), I looked at my new surroundings.

After peering from behind the tree, I was apparently near the edge of town, and could actually see into people's houses. I scanned the windows, perverted me, and locked onto something a normal kid would never wanna see; eh, "intercourse". I twitched in shock, and quickly shifted to hiding behind the tree again.

"…Note to self…NEVER look into windows. NEVER AGAIN…" I shuddered. Carefully creeping from behind the tree, I locked on target: the sign, not too far away anymore. Looking around for witnesses, I sprinted over to it, and swung around front. I almost had a heart attack at what I saw.

**South Park**

"W-wait, what?! I-I can't possibly be-I mean, I-I guess it c-could be possible, m-my friend said there actually WAS a-a South Park…y-yeah, that's it…some guy just dragged my ass out to REALITY'S South Park…th-that's all…" Sighing, I decided that as long as I was here, I should enjoy the nice scenery. I mean, it's a nice getaway from the city. The best "nature" you could get there was a field of dry grass, a couple trees in parks, and a small garden. Not what I'd call nature.

Striding into town, I took a breath of "Mountain Air". It was actually nice. Smelled…planty. I wanted to get into my "house" fast, but…hey, why not enjoy the small-town life while it lasts? Slowing my pace, I took a chance to study the shops around.

There was a nice little coffee shop on one of the corners, though there didn't seem to be many people inside. I shrugged. '_Guess it's just later in the day…_' I continued on my walk, "Tom's Rhinoplasty" popping into my field of vision. '_Even in small towns, they have plastic surgery offices…sad…_' I was about to walk on, but stopped.

"Wait…"

My head whipped over to read the sign again, and there it was. "Tom's Rhinoplasty". I read it over and over, heart rate increasing with ever review. "No…no…no, nuh-uh, NO! I-it can't be, right? Ha, haha! No, of course not! In fact, I'm probably just dreaming. I'll just pinch myself, and-" '_Wait…in dreams, you don't have logic, or correct brain functioning…it's all to your imagination's whims, you'd never think of pinching yourself…_'

"Oh fuck…I-I'm not dreaming, a-am I?" I took it all in. The small town in the mountains, the note saying "other world", the South Park sign, this Rhinoplasty place…it all fit into the fact that I was really HERE…I didn't know if I should fan girl, or be scared…it was South Park, one of my favoritest shows of all time, but…horrible things happened a LOT here…and who knows what day it was in this world?! What episode was it?! God, so much to worry about…

'_Calm down, Miir…okay, so you're in South Park…that doesn't mean you need to go fan girl, or you need to be paranoid of dangers…it means you need to stay calm, and try to roll with it…_' Sighing, I collected myself, and continued my way to the housing area of this town.

I didn't bother with the shops anymore. I was sure they'd raise my anxiety about the whole situation, and I didn't need that at the moment…I stared at my feet, watching them take step after step, until I heard somehow calling to me.

"Hey kid!"

'_Oh fuck…_'

Turning, there was a generic background guy giving me a questioning, suspicious look. "Shouldn't you be in school?" He raised a brow at me.

'_FUCK!_' "Oh, no. Actually, um, I just moved here, and haven't had time to enroll in the school. So while my parents went to go get that done, they allowed me to wander and adjust to the new area." '_…That lie is GOLDEN, me!_'

He stared for a few seconds, then grew a goofy smile on his face. "Oh, alright then! Enjoy your exploration then!" And he walked off, on his way.

That got me thinking, '_Just how old do I look, anyways?_' I rushed a little more, very curious about my age now.

"Damn, if I'm just a kid again, that'll hamper all my abilities…I'm going to be pissed if I'm not still 16!" Curiosity and worry taking over, I broke into a run, not long after getting to the housing area of the town. I whipped my head back and forth to look at all the house numbers, hoping to soon come across #389. I stopped to catch my breath at 378, and gasped in the air. As I finally got my breathing normal again, I looked up.

Down the road, a large 3 story house stood out with its black and white paint, a bit of red around the window frames and, and a nice red dyed obsidian door. The windows looked to be made of some sort of crystal, possibly, or maybe an expensive glass. I could already tell the wood was probably imported from another country, even under the all the paint, I couldn't recognize it as something from the U.S.

"Oh…oh DAMN, I'm really rich, aren't I? …Nope, fuck that. I WILL LIVE LIKE THE POOR PERSON I WAS! Going through my money in a week isn't good, and it attracts unwanted attention…most of the time from assassins who want my cash…" Sighing(I do that a lot), I walked on, excitement growing with every step.

What? I was poor, can't I at least be HAPPY that I'm rich now?

Only a few steps in, I heard a bell ring in the distance. '_Is that…the school bell?_' I stopped to try to listen more, but the ringing had already ceased. "Meh." I shrugged, then continued on my walk.

Though I had the nagging fear that I should hurry into my house. I tried to ignore it, but it was creeping up into my mind as an all-out panic attack. Heart beat increasing at a rapid pace, and my mind screaming for me to GTFO of the outside world, I ran to the house, finding it was indeed #389.

I turned the nob, and-

_**Click.**_

_**Click.**_

_**Click.**_

Wait, what? "WHERE THE HELL IS THE KEY?!" I checked under the mat at the front, dug into some of the dirt by the door, and tried reaching above the door. Couldn't reach. "Dammit, just how short am I now?!" Just to be sure, I checked my back pocket with the note in it, then the other.

I was close to having a heart attack by now, I was sure I was having a seizure, at the least. I was just about to break down crying when I heard voices approaching.

'_I know those voices…'_ Tossing my gaze over my shoulder, I spotted, guess what, Stan's group walking down the street, coming my way. "Oh FUCK." I desperately tried to grab at the space atop the door, eventually grabbing on and hanging. Carefully sliding my hand along the ledge, I felt nothing there.

"D-dammit! Where else could it be?!"

"Hey, who's that girl?"

"Meep!"

I dropped down, and resorted to my front pockets; I found the key in my left one. "…B-baka Miakyatto…" I scrambled to get the key into the lock, and just as I turned it-

"Hey, kid!"

'…_FUUUUUUUCK!'_ Slowly turning to face the street, there they were: Stan Marsh, Kyle Brofloski, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman, staring at me from the sidewalk.

"Eh…what do you want?"

What? I actually have conversational confidence? …Since when?

"Oh god damn it, is she another rich kid?"

'_Oh hell no, I ain't no bitch!'_ My head screamed, but I kept my cool.

"Well, I'm rich, but if you're thinking I'm one of those rich BITCHES, you're WAY off."

I was doing good so far. At least I wasn't all shy and stutter-y like usual.

"Hm, yeah, really? Your JcPenny's outfit says otherwise…"

"Dude, my uncle got this out of somebody's dumpster."

Truth. My uncle finds a LOT of stuff in the dumpster. Usually for me.

…WE CLEAN THEM, DUH! I'M NOT GONNA WEAR IT STRAIT FROM THE TRASH!

"…Oh."

"Dude, Stan, she's totally lying. Why would she get stuff from the trash if she's rich?"

"Umm, because while I AM rich, I'm not gonna go around spending money like it's nothing. I was adapted to the poor life, that's how I'll live. Is that okay with you?"

Now I was just pissed of. One thing that pissing me off HARDCORE: when people assume I'm lying, or accuse me of doing something I didn't, or being someone I'm NOT. You could get a nice kick to the gut for that, don't ya know?(Imagine that last sentence with an Irish accent. That's me.)

"Geez, snappy! …Hm, give me a minute."

And he turned to his friends.

**THIRD PERSON POV**

"Alright guys, we can pretend to be alright with her, and let her in the group. Then, we can milk her for all she's worth."

"What the hell, Cartman?! You can't just do that to people!"

Eric scoffed. "Kyle, come ON. She's OBVIOUSLY a rich bitch in disguise. There's no problem if she deserves some punishment!"

Kyle glared at him. Sure, it seemed like a good idea NOW, but he already knew he'd regret it later. _'Not having a repeat of the toilet paper incident…'_ He shuddered, and sighed.

"Ugh, you know what? Fine. But we have to ACTUALLY hang out with her, and if she turns out to be one of those rude, obnoxious, prissy rich persons, THEN we'll spend all her money."

"Alright, Kyle. Fair enough."

They left their little huddle, and turned back to the girl, who was now petting a squirrel.

**MIAKYATTO'S POV**

This is my squirrel friend, Abigail. She is awesome because she's the smartest squirrel I've ever met.

"Uh…hey, rich girl!"

"Whazzup?" I looked up at the group from my spot on the ground, and they walked over to me. Placing Abigail on my shoulder, I stood up.

"Alright, girly, we'll give you a chance to prove you're not a prissy rich kid. So starting now, you're our friend, and as our friend, you should let us eat your food, play your video games, and do whatever we like when at your house. Got it?"

I stared, raising a questioning brow at his request. But, deciding 'What the hell! Go with it!', I shrugged. "Okay, whatever."

Kyle and Stan seemed shocked I would just allow such a demand, but it was perfectly normal to me. Hey, I'm a follower, really.

"Sweet. Well, to fully be situated as our friend, we must explore your house and see what you have in there."

I freaked out inside. _'FUCK, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I HAVE IN MY HOUSE!'_ Keeping a cool demeanor, I turned the knob to my house and gulped. _'Here goes nothing…'_ I opened the door, and nearly gasped myself at the sight.

To my right, there was a spiral stairway with a slide built in to the side, made of what seemed to be marble. In front of me, there was a long hallway, branching into three different halls about halfway in. To my left, there was a living room with plush couches made from…well, I couldn't tell, I don't get into couches, but I'm gonna guess it was from some "fab" French designer or something. There was a huge flat screen in the wall, perfected HD was noticeable even before you turned it on. There was a shelf located under it, with many games from every console there was. And guess what? All said consoles were right there by the T.V, Xbox, Wii, PS1, 2, and 3, Xbox360, hell, even one of those Game-O-Spheres or whatever.

How could this get any better? Oh, I dunno, a pure leather recliner with virtual reality helmets stacked up on it?

Past the living room, I could partially see the kitchen, marble counters, top-notch appliances, and from the double doors over by the fridge, I supposed they led to the dining room of sorts. It was probably one of those grand halls.

"Dude…you're fuckin' LOADED! Ah man, look at all those GAMES, dude! And the stairs have a fucking SLIDE! Dude, your house is awesome!"

"Uh, thanks, but…this is only the front of the house."

"Girl, you're gonna give me a heart attack if I see more."

As the others piled into the house, Kenny going off to explore further into the house, Kyle came up to me. "Hey, so…what's your name, anyways?"

I blinked. Stan turned away from the games to look at me. "Hey, yeah. We never got to know your name."

"Oh. Well, I don't really like my name, so I use an alias."

"…The hell is that?(Stan)"

"Like, a fake name."

"Oh."

"So, what's the name you use then?"

"Miakyatto. Or, if you prefer English, MiirKat."

"…That's actually a really awesome alias, dude."

"Thanks."

"But…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "Can we just call you Miir? While MiirKat's awesome, it's a bit odd to try to use as a real name."

I shrugged. "That's what most people call me. So, then, what's YOUR name?" I was doing pretty good, NOT acting like a spazz-tastic fan girl.

He froze, then laughed. "Oh, right. I'm Kyle Brofloski, and this is Stan Marsh." He threw his thumb over at the black haired male, and Stan waved. Waving back, I looked around Kyle over to Eric. _'Good, keep it up, Miir. Act like you don't know everything about them…Good…'_

"So, who's the brunette?"

"Him? That's the fatass, Eric Cartman."

"EY! SHUT UP, JEW!"

"DON'T FUCKIN' CALL ME THAT! Yeah, he's also a bit…'racist' when it comes to religion…and race."

I stared. Well then. But it's not like I cared, it was just normal Eric, after all. "Meh. I don't care. Actually, I'm a bit curious…"

He raised a brow. "About what?"

Walking over to a couch, I sat down and called to Eric. " 'Ey, Eric."

"What?"

"What "racist" remarks you got about the Irish?"

He scoffed. "Always drunk off their asses! Like really, have you SEEN the Irish people down at the bar sometimes?! I heard they'll get drunk, pick a fight with someone, and then get kicked out of the bar before the fight's over. What really sucks ass about 'em is they're always close to winning when they get kicked out…fuckin' alcoholic, kilt wearing flute players."

I broke out laughing, and corrected him, "Actually, Eric, kilts are with the Scottish. Think you got the flute thing right, though."

He looked over from the games to stare at me. "And how the hell would YOU know?"

"Dude, I'M Irish."

And on came the awkward silence. What? I said I didn't care if he was racist. It wasn't a lie.

"And…you're not offended?"

"Nope."

"Not at all?"

"Nuh-uh."

"…HA! That's great! Most people get all defensive. But hey, just speaking the truth, damn."

I nodded, "Hey, the stereotypes are based on truth, you know."

"Exactly! But SOME dumb-asses can't get that through their head. THEN they end up trying to punch me in the face! Like, what the hell is THEIR problem?!"

Kyle glared, jumping into our conversation. "Because most people find your racist remarks offensive! Damn, Cartman, you're lucky Miir isn't serious about that kind of thing! I could totally see her kicking your teeth in."

"Stupid Jew, she wouldn't kick-Wait, your name is Miir?"

"Not really, it's from the alias I use, Miakyatto. Or, MiirKat, if you like English."

"…Nice."

I chuckled, and shook my head. "Wow, that's like, the thousandth time someone's said that to me. Never thought I'd come up with something so cool. But I guess I did, so yay me!"

We all had a good laugh at that, and then I remembered something.

Where's Kenny?

"Hey, I'll be right back. Enjoy the games while I'm gone, kay?"

"We were going to anyways."

Shrugging, I turned and left the room, heading down the hall. Really, I had never been in the house myself, so I wouldn't be surprised if I got lost looking for him.

I opened one the first door to my right, it was a bathroom. I didn't pay attention to how totally "fab" and expensive it was, just scanned for Kenny. Nope.

The next room was a guest room. No Kenny there. I went back to check the first left door, and it led to a grand hall sort of dining room. I spotted the double doors over in the left corner of the room. _'Knew it.'_ I scanned over, and there was no Kenny here either.

I continued on my little journey, coming across more guest rooms and other things, like an indoor pool, arcade, and maybe 2 or 3 more bathrooms, 2 within some of the guest rooms. Still no Kenny. I made it to the back of the house, and slid open the back door. Abigail jumped off my shoulder and ran over to…is that a fucking sheep?

In my backyard, I had found pens with sheep, bunnies, wolves(I don't know either), bear cubs, and Kenny, playing with the Border Collie I didn't know I had.

"Oh. There you are, Kenny. See you found the backyard."

"*Muffled* Yeah, it's really cool back here! What's the dog's name?"

"Eh? Oh, uh…" _'C'mon, what's its name?!'_ "Sarah. Her name's Sarah."

"*Muffled* Ah, fuck. Figures it'd be something simple. And…I also kinda thought she was a boy…"

I giggled, and called Sarah over. _'Let's see if I got it right…' _"C'mere, Sarah! Come here, girl!" She came bounding over, and I kneeled down to pet her.

"Figures it'd be the Border Collie's name from 42nd…" I mumbled under my breath. Kenny walked over, and pat the dog on the head.

"*Muffled* So, what are the others doing?"

"Eh, playing all my games. But I don't mind. Do you wanna see the rest of the house? I mean, you've only been on the first floor."

He nodded, and trekked back into the house. Ha, Sarah wouldn't leave him alone. I was about to walk inside and close the door, but Abigail came scampering along, and climbed her way back to my shoulder. I gave Sarah a nice little scratch on the head, then closed the back door.

We began our journey back through the halls and soon after made it to the living room again. It was Kyle v.s Eric in an all out battle of EPICNESS, Mortal Combat style. I watched the health bars, buttons, movement of their fingers, and the characters on screen.

"Sorry Kyle, Eric's gonna win."

He threw a quick glare at me, then continued with his match. "What?! Hell no, this fatass isn't gonna beat me!"

"Yeah he is. In about…one minute."

"No he's not because I won't let him, dammit!" He glared at the screen, trying even harder to win now. I watched the movements again, and it still seemed Eric would win.

I sighed. Poor, poor Kyle. "Anyways, Kenny, let's go explore the second floor." I led him upstairs, and the second floor came into view. We trudged up the last few steps, and strode down the hall. I opened the first door, and it was a library. A HUGE ASS library. Most of it was manga, silly Otaku me!

But there were a few good books from Steven King, and I swear I saw something with Edgar Allen Poe.

"And this is the library."

"*Muffled* It's freakin' huge!"

"I know. Actually, I think it takes up most of the second floor…" Well, that's what it looked like. Waving him out and on to the next room, across the hall, I found it was a small guest room.

"This is one of the…5, I think, guest rooms. Though much smaller than the others…"

I could see he already loved this place, and we'd only begun to adventure on the second floor! …Well, I loved this place a whole fucking lot, too, but…yeah… …SHUT UP.

…Such a hypocrite…

As we ventured forth and came upon an awesome closet, candy room(yes, a room filled with candy), computer lab type thing, and another guest room, I found an obsidian door, painted with red hand-prints. A sign saying, "Stay the fuck out!" in Galik* hung on it.

"And this…" _'What the hell is this room?!' _I swung the door open, revealing…my room. "Is…my room."

It was gigantic. I had a large bunk-bed type bed, mattress and stuff up top, but a little table with…a laptop and manga on it. Opposite that was a little shelf with a few notebooks and stacks of drawing paper, along with a large box, probably filled with pencils and pens. There was also a little office chair there. My comforter had the Irish flag on it, while my pillow the Mexican. I also had a purple dolphin plush, who at age 11, had named Wilfred.

I had my own HD flat screen near the far left corner of my room, next to the window. I had a nice, comfy looking futon, with a small table next to it, holding the remote, a notepad, pencil, and pen.

Over in the right corner, there was a door leading to what I supposed was a bathroom. I bet 1,000 bucks there was some kinda fancy bathtub in there.

In the middle of my room, there was a HUGE computer, a main screen in the middle, on the desk, and many others surrounding. Each one had some sort of camera recording on it.

'_So I have a security system…'_

Farther over, near the closer left corner, there was a table with lined up handheld game consoles, like the Game Boy, Ds, Dsi, Dsi XL, Ds Lite, 3Ds, and PSP. Over that were shelves marked for each console, though all the Ds games were just marked "Ds", with the exception of "3Ds". I had an assortion of chairs there, too. Well, SOMEONE knew I liked variety.

And there, in the final corner, the closer right corner, was a phone. A beautiful, MARVELOUS 4G Android Razor. I swear, at that moment I almost cried.

"Well, this is my room."

"…*Muffled* Holy shit, you really are LOADED. …Hey, can I live here?"

We had a good laugh, though I did say they were free to stay overnight whenever they wanted.

"*Muffled* Watch Cartman flip his shit when he hears that."

We laughed a bit more, and continued further back into the second floor. We stumbled across more guest rooms, more bathrooms, another awesome closet, and(to my ultimate delight), an art room. There was also a music room where I almost had a heart attack(would've died happy), but it was a horribly frightening moment for Kenny to watch me fan girl, so I won't include it out of respect.

We came to the end of the second floor, and there was a large balcony facing the woods. As I walked up to the edge, I saw a deer scamper by between the trees, out there in the forest.

"It's nice out here. Always wanted to live in a more lively area, with lots of animals, and woodland area, you know?"

"*Muffled* It's nice here, but all the women are flat-chested."

I laughed, "Well, I can guarantee it wasn't like that in California."

"*Muffled* You lived in California?"

"Yup. Way too hot, though. It's much better here in Colorado, nice and cold. Plus, there's snow. I like snow."

"…*Muffled* Wait, so what was average cup size in California?"

I face palmed, but chuckled. It was all in good fun. "Are we really having this conversation?"

"*Muffled* Yes."

I sighed, and look back up at him. "Eh, probably somewhere in the C's, you really only see flatties if they're under the age of 13. But hell, I knew some 9 year old that was at least in a high A cup."

"*Muffled* Really?"

"Yup. Hell, look at me! I'm 11(Well, I think I was eleven right then), and I'm like, 42C!"

"*Muffled* Aw, I figured you'd be bigger."

I pouted, and lightly whacked him on the head. "Shut up." I could see he was smirking, even behind the hood, and I half-heartedly glared at him. _'I'm getting along better than expected with these guys…well fuck, thinking about it, I tend to get along with everyone…' _I shrugged.

"Anyways, I think the third floor is just guest bedrooms…but there is like, a kind of club thing up there. In case I ever wanna go clubbing."

"…*Muffled* Okay, your house is officially the greatest place ever."

"Ha! No it's not, Sunsplash is."

"…*Muffled* Yeah, you're right."

I shoved him, "I never said you should agree with me!"

He rolled his eyes, and we got to the stairs faster than expected.

"SCREW WALKING!" Plopping into the space for the slide, I slid down, and heard Kenny coming down after me. When I got to the bottom, the toe of my boot caught on the carpet, and I rolled forward, into the wall. My vision was upside-down, but I watched Kenny walk over to me, and poke me into the forehead.

"*Muffled* You need to be careful with stuff. Everything is dangerous."

'…_Yeah, you'd know that…jeez, I wonder how much it hurts to die…shut up, brain.'_

Rolling back to right-side-up, I shocked Kenny with electro-static. He flinched a bit, but brushed it off with(what I assumed was) a pout.

Stan was going against Kyle in Super Smash Bros Brawl now, but he did take time to say, "Hey, Miir, you alright?" I went poker faced. _'He doesn't care.' _"Yup, I'm fine."

Kenny, probably remembering something, ran over and told them to pause the game. They did so irritably, and Kenny practically screamed at them that I said they could stay overnight whenever.

Stan was the first to look over at me. "Woah, really dude?!"

"That's great! But…I mean, you just met us, so…"

I shrugged. "Well, I'm a trusting person, and you guys seem pretty awesome, so yeah."

Kyle glanced over at Eric, "Trusting people like that is gonna be your downfall, Miir…"

I trudged over to the couch, and plopped down shrugging. "Meh. So I've been told many a times." Eric glared at Kyle, "Yeah, Kyle. She's heard that lots of times, and look where she is now! Totally rich with the greatest house ever. And you don't question great hospitality like this…" I knew he was hinting at Kyle to shut up, but didn't know about what. Oh well.

"…Well, I guess if you're fine with it, Miir…Oh shit dude! What time is it?!"

"Um, I think around 4:50. Why?"

"My mom's probably got the freaking FBI looking for me right now! Eh, sorry, Miir, Stan, I gotta go!" He rushed with grabbing his backpack, and sprinted out the door. "Bye!" I shrugged, and turned to the rest of the guys.

"So, you guys good to stay, or no?"

"Ah man, actually my mom's gonna bitch about staying over, too. Sorry Miir, gotta leave."

"Eh, whatever you gotta do to not have your mom on your ass, I guess. Come back whenever, I'm always here. Not like I have a life to live anyways…"

Stan grabbed his backpack and walked over to the door. "Bye." He threw it open, walked out, and it shut behind him. Turning back to Eric and Kenny, I spoke, "So then I guess you guys are good to stay."

Eric shrugged going to switch out the games. "Well, my mom just lets me do whatever I want, really. Though lately she's been trying to control my life, it's hella annoying."

"Ah, rebellion?"

"Yeah, sure. Hey, you got any Cheesy Poofs?"

I shrugged(I do that a lot…), and walked into the kitchen. I opened up a few cabinets, scanning for any signs of the delicious cheese snacks. Finally, in one of the last cabinets, I found a bag.

"Catch." I threw Eric the bag, and he fumbled with it. "Sweeet!" He practically ripped it open, and sat down on my fluffy couch. I didn't even bother telling him not to get it dirty; he probably would even if I did. As I walked back over, I heard the sound of channel flipping. I watched the screen, and a quick flash of blonde and black haired males came up. They wore blue and red.

"DUDE YOU MISSED TERRENCE AND PHILIP!"

"Oh what, I did?! What channel, WHAT CHANNEL?!"

"5 back, 5 BAAAACK!"

Yeah. I like that show, too. Get used to it.

We made it back to the right channel just as the episode was starting. Of course, it started as usual, all the stupid, yet hilarious fart jokes, Kraft products, and THE FUCKING DICK!(I dare not utter his name…)

"Ah, man, I love this show."

"I know, right? It's insane, but none of the adults here like this show."

"Whaaaat?! But this show is pure comedy GOLD!"

"I KNOW! …Hey, Miir, where are YOUR parents?"

My soul had a seizure. I didn't know how the hell I'd forgotten about the whole "parents" issue!

"Well, actually, my mom and dad are high up in the business industry, and they're always flying places to meet with new and old clientele."

"So they leave you alone?"

"It's just that I can manage just fine on my own, so they don't need to worry about getting nannies or au pairs."

"Oh. …Aw, sweet! So you just get the house to yourself all the time!"

"Yes…but it's a bit lonely during the day, and very creepy at night when you're all alone in such a large house…"

He shrugged. "I guess."

I was ready to continue on with watching T.V, but Kenny tapped me on the shoulder.

"Whaz?"

"*Muffled* My parents might flip if I'm gone late into the night, I just need to go tell them I'm staying over tonight."

"Oh, okay. But you better hurry back, cuz I'll wreak all hell on this town if I think you've gone missing."

I could tell he was a bit happy I cared that much, but rolled his eyes. "Sure you will." I pouted, and he walked off and out the door.

"Where's Kenny goin'?"

"Just back to his place real fast, says his parents might flip if he doesn't let them know he'll be staying over."

"Ah. Hey, I never got to see the rest of your house."

DAMMIT, HERE WE GO AGAIN.

* * *

**Alright, that's all ya get for now, guys! By the way, to anyone who cares, I've come up with a name for my fans((If I have any)):**

_**WILFRED ARMADA**_

**Awesome, right? Yeah, I know it is. So, my Wilfred Armada, favorite this if you'd like, reviews are cherished, flames are used to burn your house down.**

**Now, don't forget, friends, that you can offer up yourself and Ocs in the form of a review or PM, and I'll end up using them. No promises it'll be this next chapter, in fact I'll probably be writing it after I finish this! **

**No, actually, by the time you're reading this, the second chapter will have been done for quite a while.**

**Now, for this to work, I need a description along with personality and preferably a few chunks of his or her past. You don't have to, but with me, it helps a lot when writing with a character.**

**Now remember, it may take a bit for your OC or yourself to pop up into the story, but it all depends on how the story flow is going, and whether or not it seems a good place to add in a new character. Also remember that some Ocs or you could fade to be a minor character, as I might end up being spammed with requests. If this happens to you or your OC I am terribly sorry, but it's hard to work with, like, 20 main characters.**

**If you'd like, when your OC makes it into the story, you can review or PM what you'd like your OC or you to do in the next chapter, whether it be deciding if he/she is a main part in the chapter, or if he/she gets to drink all the soda.**

**Also, SO TERRIBLY SORRY IF I END UP BEING A BIT OFF WITH PERSONALITY. I don't know about other people's thoughts, but I personally think that I'm horrible with staying in-character when writing with people that aren't my own creations. So, sorry to say, I MIGHT be a bit off with how some of your characters react in certain situations.**

**Unless of course I can easily comprehend your Ocs(or your) personality by just looking at the name.**

**Then we're good to go.**

**Welp, signing off, this was MiirKat, with ****Miakyatto's Adventures in South Park.**

**Bye!**


	2. IS Miakyatto a MARY SUE!

**LOL I LIED THIS CHAPTER TOOK A WEEK TO TYPE! :D**

**Hello~ my Wilfred Armada! Today is a great day for a new chapter, non? Well, I think it is, so deal with it.**

******Okay, so...SORRY TO ALL.**

**Especially you, Kalel and Kenzie's owner((Too lazy to type the whole name...)) Our internet was down, so I was gonna go to use library computers with mah SD card, but I LOST said SD card, then I JUST found it on the 4th of July, but the library would be CLOSED for the 4 and 5th days, but THEEEEN it was closed for the weekend AND Monday((Library BITCH)) so I had to come today, I think 2 weeks after the first chapter.**

******Kalel, since the internet was down, I couldn't get to my email for your character description. Sorry. But I'm throwing you in Next chapter, which I'm working on right now.**

**Alright, people, today I am using xXPeirceTheVeil'sAngelXx's OC, Kenzie. I thought of a way to fit her in! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: As far as I'm concerned, it's necessary to have this, always a reminder I don't own South Park…**

**ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

* * *

~~time skipped le tour of le house~~

"So, whatcha think of the place?"

"Remember when I said you were loaded? Yep, understatement of all time."

I smirked, and jumped on the slide back down. After the tour of the 3rd floor(finally), I had found it WAS mainly guest rooms. Along with a club, and a room full of alcohol. Even though I was NEVER old enough to drink. I also found a room full of weapons of all kinds, blunt objects and heavy artillery alike.

"Say, even with your parents gone all the time, you'd think they'd have a room here, Miir…"

'_FUCK HE'S GETTING SUSPICIOUS '_ "Well, actually, Eric, at the moment they'll be gone a year over in…Magadan. And thinking the 'commies' would get to them, they allowed me to turn their room into a guest room. This time they asked for me to try finding someone to watch over me while they were gone."

I could almost hear him getting an idea, and knowing Eric, it was probably something with a 'hidden' meaning like, "Yeees, now I can live here in this awesome house and be rich…" Or…whatever.

"Well, I'll have you know that my mom would be a wonderful 'guardian' like person for the rest of your parent's trip."

"Really now? I might think about that, especially since your mom's a pushover." We laughed, and I fell lazily onto the couch. "Okay, really, where the HELL is Kenny?"

"Meh," He fell back a grabbed the remote, "Who cares? He's probably just at home cuz his mom and dad DID bitch at him."

I glared, but let him off with a sigh. _'Right,' _I thought, _'He doesn't remember Kenny EVER dying…' _I stood up, and began my walk to the door.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Um, to look for Kenny, DUH."

And as I opened the door, said hood-wearing blonde ran into me, falling back onto the porch. I stumbled back a bit, then realized who was on the ground. "There you are, Kenny! I was about to go tearing up the town looking for you!"

"*Muffled* My parents wanted to keep me at home, but let me come back when they heard you were rich."

I laughed, and let him back in the house. "Let me guess, they expect you to bring back fancy food and money, right?"

"*Muffled* Yeah. They want me to bring back a ton of fancy rich person stuff."

"You know, if they have the money, they can just BUY the rest of the stuff they want."

He shrugged, "*Muffled* My parents aren't good with logic." He dropped on the couch next to Eric in boredom. I huffed.

"Well, people, I got a house full of awesomeness, so who's up for trying to do everything in here?"

They raised a brow at me. "Like, play ALL the arcade games?"

"*Muffled* And eat ALL the candy?"

I nodded. "Yes. We shall do ALL THE THINGS!" Sprinting down the hall to the arcade, I was pumped up to do things. I ran past lots of doors, then skid, slipped and fell to a halt in front of the Arcade door. Scrambling to stand up, I got my balance, kicked open the door(sure it was thrown off its hinges, but I've always wanted to kick a door), and marveled at its glory.

So many games, so little time…I mean, I had to fall asleep at some point. But now was my time to play arcade games, and I wasn't gonna pass it up! My gaze spazzed all over the room, and finally caught on something awesome in the back-a Wreck it Ralph machine. "Holy fuck…"

I ran over, and as I was closing in, I tripped over the carpeting, rolling and stopping right in front of the game. I smiled up at it.

'_Oh yes…tis gaming time…'_

~~Time skip cuz I'm a lazy ass motherfucker~~

"Oh my GOD, Miir, you like, TOTALLY have to let me come over ALL THE TIME. This place is freakin' sweet!"

"Dude, I already said you could stay over whenever you want. What, do you want to LIVE here?" I raised a brow at him.

"…That would be awesome. Yes I would. But you'll be moving all my stuff, and I want a room right next to the Arcade, or your candy room-"

"Eric, I was joking."

"…Miir, do NOT fuckin' joke about that. It's quite bitch-like."

I face palmed. I had almost forgotten that Eric was an egotistical, selfish, uncaring, intolerant cunt-face ball-licker.

…South Park has me using quite the colorful language, eh?

So anyways, at the moment we were heading to the next amazing area, my backyard. We were going to pet, ride, feed, and name ALL THE ANIMALS. Tis quite a journey we were going on, but we would make it.

At the back of the house, I peered through the glass of my back door. I couldn't see shit.

"*Muffled* Uh, Miir? There's a light switch on this wall."

I heard something flick, and lanterns lined up by the fencing around my yard lit up. I could see that all my animals were sleeping peacefully.

…At least until we had turned on the lights.

Now a lot of the animals, like the sheep, were lifting their heads to go, "WTF" at the light.

"…Right. Right, I knew that, Kenny." Rolling his eyes, Eric snickered. "Don't know your way around your own house, eh Miir?"

"Shut up, I do!" I took a quick glance at a clock on the wall. "…But in case you hadn't noticed, it's 9:30. I usually start, oh I don't know, NOT GOING OUTSIDE at this time."

He was silent, and I slid open the door. Sarah came bounding up, and I ruffled her fur. "Hi, Sarah."

"Jesus. We have a lot of animals to name, don't we, Miir?"

"…Yup. Hey, you guys name from the ground, I'll name from the tree!"

"*Muffled* Okay. Cartman, you take the sheep, I'll get the bunnies. Miir, why don't you take the wolves?"

"Sure," I shrugged, and walked over to one of the trees in my backyard. Raising one foot to a low branch, and my hands to grip higher branches, I lifted myself up. I began to space out a bit, thinking as I made my way high into the tree.

'_Damn I'm getting along great with Stan's Gang… but…how will I get along with the rest of the fourthies? Like the other girls, and the other guys?'_

'_And Jesus CHRIST, I'm rich! Why am I THIS RICH?! Does this guy that put me here pity me or something? I'm not even that special! He should go pitying the people who's parents are dead! The kids who get abused, who DESERVE this! Why me? There's nothing about ME that would make me deserving of this…'_

'_I mean, I'm just a nothing…just a waste of flesh, blood, and space…so why am I getting pampered?'_

'_God, having everything handed to me like this just makes me feel all perfect and Sue-like. Ugh, is THAT why I'm here? So even MORE people will hate me? Want me dead? Someone's just playing with my life…I bet THAT'S the truth…'_

I sat myself on a thick branch. I was very high up, If I fell there was a chance I could break some bones.

'_If you landed right you could die…'_

I shook my head. Nah, thinking like that was the old me. Thinking like that was for the male me I designed so many years ago. THIS me, the one I had always wanted to grow up to be, was NOT suicidal.

'_No, Miir. You're not supposed to want to delete yourself. You want to delete what tries to make you that way, what tries to break you. You will destroy things if you don't like them.'_

That was the way I made myself. That's the way I would stay.

"EY, MIIR! EY, DRUNKEN FAG!"

I looked down to see Eric glaring at me. "What?"

"Are you naming the fuckin' wolves, or are you running of to your god-damn la-la land?!"

"Pfft, fine. Can't even think for one second…" I looked to a cute little wolf pup. It was mainly brown, though it's ears and tail looked black. I thought about it, and named it Tracey.

…I think it was a girl.

I shifted over to a trio of light grey wolves, each with its own little add-on. One had brown paws, and another had black stripes around its tail. The third, and largest, seemed to have a strange bluish tint to it's fur. I named the first Da, the second Ma, and the third Ru. If you put their names together, it creates Damaru, or "Shut up". Clever, right?

Then I found the interesting one. It was brown, with lots of scratches, or maybe cuts on its legs, neck, and paws. What interested me the most was the upside-down cross scar over its left eye. It didn't appear to have made a difference on its eyesight, however. He seemed to notice me looking at him, and growled. I assumed he was aggressive.

I named him Zane.

I went through the last two, naming them Yami and Hikari by fur color, and then leaned back against the tree.

'_What episode am I in? Or, maybe it's one of the days between episodes, where normal stuff happens. So then…how close am I to the next episode?'_

'_Or maybe the episode had already passed, maybe it was today! It could have been one of those where everything happened in school! Like that one with "Les Bos"! Where in the end they're being taught by the Mexicans! Yeah, that's it! I probably came in on one of THOSE episodes!'_

'…_But, don't assume. The next episode could be tomorrow, and you'd never know.'_

I sighed, it was all so frustrating! I began my climb down, but it was hard to see in the dark. I placed my foot on a branch, but it slipped.

"AAH!"

I fell, slamming into a few branches along the way. Luckily, I was only like, 7 or 8 feet from the ground. The worst injury was a cut on my left cheek, some bruises, and pain. My shirt and tights saved me from more cuts, or scratches.

"*Muffled* Holy, shit, Miir! Are you alright?!"

"Dude, that was awesome! How did you not, like, break something?!"

I groaned, and lifted myself from the dirt. "Yeah, Kenny, I'm fine. And Eric, I was only like, 8 feet up. I think it takes at least 10 feet before you're in danger of breaking like, a finger or two. Maybe your ankle."

"…Oh. Still sweet!"

My eye twitched. Sometimes…sometimes I really wanted to kill this kid…I pushed myself up, and leaned on the tree for support. Standing up, I dusted as much dirt as I could off my clothes.

"So, did we name all the animals yet?"

"Yeah, while you were up there daydreaming, me and Kenny named the bears. So, what were you thinking about? Weird girly shit like rainbows and unicorns?"

I went monotone and deadpan. Looking him right in the eye, I said, "Eric, I don't think like that. My mind is much more like a guy's. It's also very twisted and corrupted, filled with sick fantasies of dismemberment and gut-wrenching torture. It's a place where the world burns in the violet flame, Eric. It burns in the violet flame."

He had a look of horror, disgust, and "WTF" on his face.

"That's the reaction I always get, friend. Nothing new." I trudged over to the sliding door, and wrenched it open. I looked over my shoulder, and motioned for them to come on. Kenny shrugged at Eric and followed, but Eric was still pretty freaked out.

"Dude, I'm not gonna kill you. I have a rule about not killing my best friends."

"Oh, no! I am NOT-wait. Did you just say I'm your best friend?"

"Uh, yeah? Why wouldn't you be?" Now, I admit that while Eric can be a narcissistic asshole, he's pretty cool. While a lot of his actions are in bad taste, they're really cool, awesome ideas, that turn out better than you'd expect in the end. Well, most of them.

And you know, he's actually pretty smart. Remember the, "Make Love, Not Warcraft" episode? Remember that elaborate estimate he made for how long it could take for them to become an uber high level? Yeah, that. And he's good with manipulation, and planning. That takes knowledge, you know. It takes an understanding of a person, of the human mind.

…Yeah, let's move on before I start an epic rant on Eric.

"…You're not joking?"

"No."

"…fucking AWESOME. Not only do I not die, I'm amped up to a higher level than Kyle! …I am on a higher level than Kyle, right?"

"…Um, yes?"

"YES! In Kyle's stupid, ginger, Jew face!"

I can already see him rubbing that in Kyle's face. Poor Kyle. We headed back to the living room, and I eyed the clock over the T.V.

10:56.

We had been out there for over an hour naming animals. Jesus Christ monkey balls.

"Hey," I pointed to the clock, "Don't you two have school tomorrow?"

Kenny almost had a heart attack. "*Muffled* Oh shit, we do! Damn…hey, Mirr, could you set us up in some rooms?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Which floor?"

"Eh, your floor?"

Yes, we had officially deemed the second floor My Floor.

"Alright, c'mon." I turned to the stairs, and walked. We came upon My Floor, and I journeyed down the hall. I stopped at the guest room to the left of my door.

"Who wants this one?"

"*Muffled* I'll take it." He opened the door, and looked around.

"*Muffled* Feel like shit to say this…but this is WAY better than any room I've ever seen."

"What about my room?"

He rolled his eyes, and took a step in. "Well OBVIOUSLY your room is better, Miir! So, where's the bathroom again?"

I peeked into the room, and pointed to the open doorway in the corner of the room. "Right there, the guest rooms next to mine have bathrooms in them."

"…*Muffled* Damn. I love this room."

I chuckled, "Of course you do…so you just gonna crash?"

"*Muffled* Yeah, with school and all that crap…"

I nodded, and left to go further down the hall.

"Oh, so I'm gonna have the room on the other side of your's?"

"M-hm. Right here." I turned the knob and lightly shoved the door open.

"Sweeet. Door to the bathroom's just right in the corner, right?"

"Should be. You going right to sleep like Kenny?"

"Yeah, I'm hella tired. Don't tell me YOU'RE staying up?"

I shook my head, "Nah, I need sleep after having my ass handed to me by a tree." We had a good laugh, said our good nights, then I headed on back to my room.

I decided to take a quick look out my window before I went to sleep. Do some minor SlenderMan hunting. I peeked out of my window, and found nothing but the house next to mine, and the house next to that, and so on. But I could kind of see the forest, where I could see the movement of something.

'_Meh, probably a bear or something, maybe a deer.'_ But as the figure came nearer, It looked ore human-like. I gasped. It was just some girl!

She looked maybe ten or eleven, with short, about shoulder-length black hair. I could see she was wearing a black jacket, and some dark skinny jeans. I didn't notice much else, there wasn't a lot of light for me to see more.

I sprinted to my door and ripped it open, running to the slide and practically throwing myself down. I slid off on the bottom onto my face, but I ignored the slight pain and rushed to the front door. I opened it and ran out, going around my house and between the two fences of my neighbor and I's yards. I stopped when I saw the girl, and hid behind the corner of the fence.

'_Best not to run up and scare her…'_

She plopped against my fence, and curled into a little ball. "Where am I…? I haven't seen anything but woods and snow for the past hour…but…at least I found houses…oh, but who knows how late it is?! I don't want to go around this town, just wandering at night…Wh-what if there are like, p-pedophiles around? I-I don't want to be m-molested!"

I felt sorry for the girl, lost and confused. And her situation seemed a lot like mine, though I don't think she quite yet realizes that she's in South Park…

'_I should help her…'_

I creeped from behind the fence, and the snow crunched under my boots. She squeaked, and jumped a little. Turning to me, she yelped, and crawled back. "P-please don't hurt me, I-I don't w-want to die!" I went deadpan, and face palmed. Really, do I look like someone who'd kill you?!

…I know many people who'd say yes.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. I saw you out here through my window, wandering in the trees. What the hell are you doing, kid?"

She froze, and tried to look up over the fence. "D-do you live in the house right here?"

"Yeah. But you haven't answered my question, what are you doing out here?"

She looked back at me timorously. I doubt she trusted me much. "W-well, I just kind of, well…I woke up I-in the middle of the woods, I think. And I was r-really confused, so I walked around a bit…but th-then I got lost, and I-I didn't know where to g-go! But, I just kept walking in the direction I was going, a-and…well, I ended up here."

I sighed, and walked closer. She squeaked again, and scrambled back. My eye twitched. "I already said I wasn't gonna hurt you! Calm down. But if you're all alone out here, someone else COULD. So I'm gonna take you in, alright? I'll let you stay in my house. Is that good with you?"

She stopped moving back, but I could tell she was still a bit frightened. "I-I don't know, I-I mean, y-you could be like, a p-pedo's underling or s-something…"

I sighed, "I'm not a pedo's underling, I'm just someone who started in the same situation as you. I woke up on a cliff, found this town along with a note, and then found this house. Now, do you want sheltering or not?"

She seemed very hesitant, but shakily stood up anyways. Brushing the snow from her outfit, she said, "O-okay…sure. Um, My name's Kenzie. K-Kenzie Washington."

I nodded, "Well, I don't use my name, but you can call me MiirKat, or Miir for short."

"Alright…M-Miir…"

I led her back around front, and through the doorway. She gasped.

"Your house is so big! A-and you have so much stuff! B-but this is a three story house, right? S-so there's more?"

"Yeah, up the stairs for 2 more floors. Which floor do you want a room on?"

She looked up the stairway, then down the hall. "Um, f-first floor, please." I nodded, and led her to the first guest bedroom.

"This will be your room, okay? We can buy stuff for it customization later, but for now this is how it is. The bathroom is right next to this room, first door on this side of the hallway. If you want something like food, go ahead and take it from the kitchen. After tonight, just come ask if you want something, alright?"

She nodded, and walked into her new room. "O-okay. Um…thank you…"

"No problem." I shut the door, and headed back upstairs. Tomorrow would be a long day.

~~TIME SKIP TO THE MORNING~~

I woke up at 5:30 A.M today.

Damn.

I rolled off my bed, oh-so-gracefully falling to the floor. "…OW. Jeez, I forgot my bed was up there…" Pushing myself from the floor and standing up, I wobbled and stretched. I slouched and walked over to my closet, who's door I had found the second time around my house. I lazily poked and tugged at everything, eventually deciding on…whatever my instincts told me to pick out.

I had grabbed a black tank-top with rip-styled black jeans, along with black and red combat boots, white wrappings for my hands(to protect my innocent knuckles in fights, ya know?), and a black and red checkered belt.

"Alright, Miir, what are you doing today?" I drug myself over to the little "office" under my bed, and slumped down into my chair. I turned my laptop on, logged into my account(it's really the only one there), and checked the calendar. It was 3-7-07, apparently. I thought about it. _'That date seems familiar…' _I wanted to check online for that, but I doubted it would give me anything other than the crazy crap in "South Park" America.

However, I'm a derp, so I tried it anyways.

There really wasn't anything different with the internet, same YouTube, Google, Facebook and all. I was pretty happy with that. There was a Wikipedia thing on the date, with what celebrities were born today, and what things were released and such. But then I found it:

_**March 7, 2007:**_

_**Original air date for South Park episode, "With Apologies To Jesse Jackson".**_

I stopped. _'Okay…WHO DA WHAT NOW?!'_ Today was apparently the day of Stan's dad being a racist. Kind of. But the show would be broadcasted at night, so I had time before shit went down. I sighed in relief.

There's time before this shit gets kick started.

I went on with my daily routine, going along just like I did BEFORE being thrown into South Park. I brushed my hair, teeth, and I listened to the K and J-pop I had on my iPod.

Yeah, apparently I had my iPod with me.

I was about to go down to the school, see if I could get enrolled, when I heard a knock on my door.

"Hm? Uh, come in."

My door opened to reveal Kenzie, the girl I had found out in the woods. She wasn't wearing her jacket, so I could see she had on a blue t-shirt now. I swear she was missing a few things other than that, though…

"Um, w-well, I just thought…w-well if you've been here long enough to have a house, then…m-maybe you'd know where we are…?"

"Yeah, I do. Do you know the show South Park?"

She nodded, smiling a bit. "Yeah! B-but…what does that have to do with this?"

I sighed, and walked over, placing my hands on her shoulders. "Kenzie, don't have a heart attack, but…we're in South Park."

She twitched, then froze. I thought she was just shocked, but…

Then she fell back and fainted.

"Oh, God damn it!" I face palmed, and picked her up, slinging her over my shoulder. "Can't handle one freakin' thing that I tell her without going all freeze-y and twitchy…" I practically threw her on my couch, then headed back to the door. I strode out into the hallway and as I passed Kenny's door I heard his shower running.

"Huh. Didn't know they got up this early."

I made my way to the slide and down, then opening the door. It was nice and cold in the mornings, I felt like the hypothermia crap everyone worries about might get to me. Good. I stretched in the cold air, then headed out, closing the door behind me.

I hadn't really gotten a good look at the town, but I did know that my house was probably close to the school, especially if I could hear the bell. I walked down the sidewalk at a quick pace, not bothering to take in the beauty. I'd remember the path anyways.

As I rounded a corner, there it was: South Park Elementary. I smiled, but then remembered how much of a hell-hole that place was. I frowned.

"…Do I need to go to this school anyways? I've already learned the stuff they'll teach me…"

I thought about it, then decided to just go with it. It might even keep my boredom in check.

I strode down the sidewalk and up the stairs to the front of the building. It looked like it was open…but where the hell was the office?

Pushing open one of the doors, I glanced around. There were three hallways with lockers, some doors and…THE OFFICE! I walked in, and went at a quick pace towards the office. I got to the door, turned the handle and-

"Oh, hello there! Sorry, sweetie, you're a bit early!"

I blinked. Did she…did she think I was a student here? "Oh, no, um, actually, I just moved here so…I thought it best that I get enrolled in this school…"

"Oh, okay! Well, are your parents here? They're usually the ones to come in."

I shook my head, "No, they're off in Magadan for a business meeting. But I really do need to get enrolled, it's the law. So is it okay if I just fill out any paperwork?"

The Principal shifted in her seat, but sighed. "Alright, I guess it's fine. It's the law…just let me get the papers together and you can fill them out." She went through a few of her drawers before extracting a small stack of papers. She handed them to me along with a pen.

"It's not gonna take you long, so just fill them out in here."

I nodded, and began my work on the forms that would REALLY kickstart this shit.

~~LE TIME SKIP, BECAUSE REGISTRATION FORMS ARE BORING!~~

"Alright, just hand those back to me-thank you-and we'll have you all set to go by tomorrow!"

"Thank you." I left the room and sighed.

"OH MY GOD THAT WAS HORRIBLE. I feel like my soul was just MURDERED by boredom…well, what the hell can I do until tomorrow…?"

I began my walk home, back through the front doors and down the street. _'Well, you could FINALLY start on Bioshock Infinite…maybe brush up on your Mortal Kombat, or actually start on the whole, "let's become a Let's Player!" plan…' _I didn't really know at the time. And so, I decided to be a lazy fuck and go back to sleep.

Truth: This is what I did every summer. Slept all day, up all night.

~~ANOTHER TIME SKIP BECAUSE I SAID SO~~

I woke up, and I noticed something quite strange.

There was a paper taped to my face.

I sat up and tore the paper off my face, then rubbed my eyes. _'God, what the hell is this?'_ I flipped the page over, and it seemed to be another note from the guy that sent me here.

"…OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

_**Dear 'Miakyatto'**_

_**Hello deary! I see you've made friends with Stan's gang! And naming all the animals I gave you, how precious!**_

Okay, I'm starting to think this guy has like, a weird crush thing on me, like maybe some sick pedophilic fantasy.

_**I've been watching over your progress for yesterday and today…and so far you're doing excellent! A lot of other people I sent there were too focused on being fan girls or boys, or buying a bunch of ridiculous things! But you seem to have your priorities strait, Ms.I'm-Getting-Enrolled-In-School! **_

_**And you take this so well, deary! Like it's nothing! So calm and collected, I'm VERY glad I chose you!**_

_**Also, I've noticed you've been contemplating a few things, like why you're there. Well, see, deary…I didn't choose you because I thought you needed a break from your "horrible life", or because I pity you or something. Though you're a kid that deserves pity, even if you don't think so!**_

_**I sent you there because I'm a "sick" person. Because I'd like to see how you'd react in a situation like this. You were one of those people who always talked of things, but would probably never get the chance to back it up! So, with you always talking of this and that, and how you would stay calm and "badass" in strange situations, like this, I threw you there.**_

_**Now, stop thinking such depressing thoughts and enjoy your time! I'm happy to keep you there as long as you like, with progress such as this!**_

_**P.S. I've really made you into who you wanted to be now…enjoy the warping and violet.**_

_**Your Savior**_

" 'Enjoy the warping and violet'? What the hell does that mean?!" I hopped off the bed and undid my ponytails from their braids. My hair was pretty and wavy now.

I thought a bit about what that could mean. If I was the me I had wanted to be…was he talking about my major Otaku days, when I was 11? I had designed Miir to be a bit cold, but nice to those she liked…she was an excellent fighter, it took a lot to hurt her…That was me now.

Well, when I was 16, now I'm 11 again…at least I'm not fat like I was back then at REAL 11…that would suck.

So, what else was there…?

"JESUS CHRIST MONKEY BALLS. Don't TELL me I can…! Oh holy FUCK no way! You shit me not?! I don't think he shits me…so then…HOLY JESUS I'M JUST LIKE MIIR! I can…this…I don't…"

If you're really wondering, when I designed Miir, she was one of the "Superpowered" OCs.

She could warp time and space, along with the ability to create and control a violet colored flame I had properly named, "Hellfire", seeing as only Holy Water put it out.

"So what, you're telling me…that I can warp time and space now? …THE HELL IS THAT?! God, if I tell anyone about this when I get home, they're not gonna believe it. And they'll think of me as an even BIGGER Mary-Sue for having superpowers. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC." I slammed my head into a wall, then heard a bell go off somewhere.

The school bell.

So then it was probably around 3, so…only a few more hours until Wheel of Fortune.

I looked over at the couch where I had set Kenzie, and she was gone. But it was nothing to worry about, she was probably just in her room, or journeying through the house. I stretched, then headed downstairs for orange juice.

I BETTER HAVE ORANGE JUICE.

I lazily fell forward onto the slide, and slide down onto my face. I pushed myself up to stand, but stumbled a bit. As I came into the living room, there was Kenzie, watching some T.V.

"Hey."

"Wh-who's-?! Oh! Oh, um, hi M-Miir. I didn't notice you…"

"Yeah, I'm just ninja like that. …Hey wait, you're really shy, aren't you?"

"Um…y-yes."

"Aw, poor girl. Don't worry, the shy phase passes soon. So, what're you watching?"

"Oh, well, right now it's a commercial for tonight's broadcast of Wheel of Fortune."

It was true, they were talking about the man from South Park, Randy Marsh, going on live to see if he could win the million dollars.

"Oh. Um…you remember what I told you, right?"

"…Yes. But, a-are we really in South Park? I mean, how can it be possible? It defies logic and science!"

"Logic and science are dust to the wind, especially since I just found out I can warp time and space."

"Wh-what?!"

"My thoughts exactly. It's just I freaked out more on the outside." I shrugged, then headed into the kitchen for my orange juice. I pulled open the fridge(which, by the way, was actually quite HUGE), and LIKE, 5 SHELVES WERE STOCKED WITH ORANGE JUICE.

GOD AND THAT ONE GUY LOVE ME.

I had a mini-seizure/heart attack, and then grabbed one of the jugs. I kicked the door closed, and twisted open the cap on my orange-flavored heaven. I was about to drink it-

When the GOD DAMN DOORBELL RANG.

I glared at the door, and was just about ready to test out my new fire-power, but calmed down. "You can drink it at the door…" I chugged some down on my walk to the door, then pulled it open.

Stan's Gang, Craig's Gang, Wendy, Bebe, and Pip were all at my door.

"Um…hi?"

"Hey, Miir, we brought these-… …are you drinking orange juice out of the jug?"

I took another swig, then nodded. "Yes. Orange juice is one of my many strange obsessions. So, what'dya want?"

"Okay…oh, well, we brought a bunch of kids from our class cuz they all thought we were lying when we told them about you. But we don't know why Pip's here."

"Oh, I wanted to journey her house with you gents!"

"Go away Pip, you stupid Frenchy!"

I deadpanned, and went monotone. Time for a lesson in accents and culture. And stuff.

"Actually, Eric, judging by his accent, I think he's from England. A French accent would sound more like zis."

Yes. That last sentence I spoke with a French accent. But I can't include sound so you can hear it, so use your imagination!

"And his polite nature would be natural for the English, even if that's kinda stereotyping…the hat sort of gives it away, and "gents", I believe, is within the British slang, or it might be something regular for them."

Everyone was silent. Pip looked very grateful and happy, Eric was all, "WTF", and Kyle looked on the edge of laughter.

"Cartman, I think you just got pwned by, like, a culture nerd."

And then Kyle burst out laughing.

"SHUT UP KYLE, STUPID JEW!"

"D-dude, you just got OWNED, and she barely even did anything! HAHAHAHA!"

I beamed. Yes, I was quite proud of myself.

"Alright, Kyle, get it together, it wasn't THAT great. I'm just very knowledgeable in the area of nations and their cultures. And also Geography. Pretty much anything to do with countries…"

When all was said and done with that, I brought them inside to the living room, through the first floor, and then up to the second.

"You guys weren't lying, Miir has a lot of really nice things!"

"Wendy, remember the bunnies?"

"Aw, yeah! They were so cute!"

I continued on the tour with orange juice in hand. I felt hella BAWS today.

"D-did you-GAH-s-see all the games in her-AAH!-a-arcade room?! I-I should play them all!"

"Yeah, man, this chick is LOADED! We should come here more often!"

I can feel my ego inflating.

"Oh, you guys don't even KNOW!"

"*Muffled* Yeah, she has a room full of candy, and her room has everything you could ever want, and there's still and art room, and a music room! She even has a library that takes up a lot of the second floor!"

"Then on the third floor-"

I turned back, "Hey, I'm the one giving the tour! Don't tell them EVERYTHING!"

And so, I made a few new friends. I think.

* * *

**MWAHAHA! Yes, you won't get the first South Park episode of the story.**

**YET.**

**If you're wondering why I'm starting so far into the seasons((And why I go by release dates)) here's why!**

**1. I start so far into the series because, as you read, Miakyatto has the unfair and pretty Sue-ish advantage of having fire power. And time warping shit. Not the reason, really. It's the fact that with advantages like THAT, I don't want her to change much in the South Park "story" line((THERE IS NO SURE PLOT)).**

**2. I go by release dates because...well...other than the fact that we know it's like, 2001 in their time right now, we NEVER know exactly what day it is. Unless it's Christmas. Then we know. Or any other holiday. The release dates are a surefire way to have a date for the episode to take place. **

**P.S. And NO, I don't look them up online((I'll need to soon, though...)). My cousin left us his DVD pack of seasons 1-11 2 or 3 years ago, and I'm taking looks at the release dates next to each episode description thing.**

**P.P.S. For those of you who wanted the story to start in Season 1, wonderful dude PraeriiDog is writing a male alternate story that starts in Season 1! It'll be posted soon, and when it is, go read it!**

**Well, xXPeirceTheVeil'sAngelXx, there you go! Kenzie was used, and soon I will get her involved into the main plot, alongside Miir!**

…**Somehow!**

**And sorry to KrazyKalel, I AM going to get your OC into this, but right now, while I'm typing this, we have no internet, so…yeah, I couldn't get to our little PM message thing so I could have your OC information. Sorry!**

**I don't know quite yet, but sorry to anyone else that might have PM-ed me in the 6 or 7 days since the first chapter! I checked my PM's and reviews the day after on the phone, and I got two confirmed for usage and stuff, but then my mom's crazy boyfriend smashed it, and…yeah.**

**No internet.**

**But by the time this is nice and posted, I'll be going through reviews and PM's so I can get the OC information! Also by now the third chapter is in progress. But since these chapters are crazy long, I'll fit you all in somehow! :D**

**WULL((Inside joke, won't get it if you didn't know me in 5****th**** grade)), signing off, this was MiirKat with ****Miakyatto's Adventures in South Park****, Chapter 2!**

**GOODBYE!**


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